and comes home in briefs, that's a deal breaker, ladies. if he wears an atlanta falcons jersey to your sister's wedding... >> [imitating jenna] "that's a deal breaker, ladies." this is gonna be huge for jenna. >> and for me, 'cause i wrote that phrase. >> if you say so, lemon. >> jack, is this really what you wanted to talk about? >> what else is there to discuss? >> oh, really? you're gonna do the repressed irish thing? be italian for like one second. i'm-a jack. i don't know who my father is. i'm-a so emotional, i'm gonna smash these barrels! >> we're not discussing that because i've made a decision. i don't wanna know who my real father is. >> are you kidding? why? >> you know what family means to me, lemon? resentment, guilt, anger... easter egg hunts that turn into knife fights. why would i wanna invite more of it into my life? why would i want more family? >> because maybe he's awesome. look, why don't you just ask your mother who it is. >> no, no. not colleen. she had her reasons for keeping this from me for 50 years, and i don't want her to relive it.